29th December 2008-
Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. - Frederick Buechner
When you're angry at one person, do you get angry at their family and friends? I don't but I know someone who does. I don't know if I should laugh
or get upset about this. It's not my fault. Just because you're angry at my folks doesn't mean you can get angry at me too. I've done nothing wrong.
Anyway, I'm in no position to say this but.. act your age damn it!! I think I will burst out laughing if you ever talk to me again, that is.. if I ever
respond to you.
My mom knows that I don't have much friends. She also knows that some people around us are fake...yet she still ask me "why don't you go and make new friends?".
Then her next sentence is "but some people are so fake". Contradicting lady. I think I get that from her..haha!
Ah well...life's like that huh? Shut up and suck it up Sundown.
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26th December 2008-
Glaciers melting in the dead of the night and the superstars sucked into the supermassive..
I can't sleep. I tried. I tried again......but I still cannot...
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17th December 2008-
Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change. - Malcolm X
Tomorrow is the last paper...I'm memorizing ASEP and I feel like breaking someone's face right now, at this very moment. It's difficult staying online because I don't want to hear anything anymore, it makes me more angry. You're the last person I thought that would do anything...I really mean anything.
I want ice cream. I really have to memorize, I'm trying. Transferring songs to ipod now. Know what? Forget ice cream, I'm tearing. All the best for me. I hate you.
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16th December 2008-
Our envy of others devours us most of all. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn
There it goes again...another betrayal, another person not to trust, another name gone down the drain, another scar, another heartache, another disaster accompanying me for the next few months. I have to remodule for APM and I have to take a sup paper for TDMC, I feel stupid. Failure in everything....
On a lighter note, today's paper was much better than the other two. Oh! Dad's flying over on the 27th..
I feel sick and I can't stop crying..
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5th December 2008-
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. - Robert H. Goddard
"..the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow."That got me thinking for a while, before I start to question myself (for the hundredth time this year).
When I was young, I remember wanting to grow up to be someone who makes my hopes and dreams come true. Of course I am aware that it won't be easy...especially for someone like me. I do one thing and say another, I disappear, I stop talking and then I come back. If there's any way to describe me, it would be..sundown likes to be alone from time to time, to get lost in her world, her thoughts. To be sleepless for one night just doing nothing at all. I want to live my life the way I imagined, which is not possible in times like..now.
All I really want is to settle down somewhere away from the city. Waking up to misty mornings, breathing in the crisp clean air. Standing at the front porch sipping coffee, feeling the coolness of the pavement beneath my feet while curling my toes.. Greeting my pup, neighbours and the newspaper man. Go for a drive with a couple of good friends when night falls. Sleeping late. Oh, not to forget..a housemate please. Yes..I could live like that for the rest of my life.
Insane..but I feel one step closer to my dream as the year goes by. I'll continue searching for it. No, I should say, I'll continue to work hard and make it come true.
Silly..ain't I?
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4th December 2008-
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. - Nelson Mandela
One word. Sian.
I can't help but to complain how boring today is. Notes and dramas again.
Woke up this morning wishing I wasn't me. Weird. Andy's been having sick nightmares as of late. Makes me burst out laughing just hearing about it. Don't worry ok? Dreams like that won't come true. Maybe you're thinking too much about things happening in the gym that's why...your subconcious trying to take control of you HEHEHE!
I hate how dreams can feel so real sometimes. Deja vu. Anyway, I'm running late! Meeting Jie! YAY =D
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3rd December 2008-
At the end of the day, when you realize all men have failed you. When all of the people you cared about have moved on. When all of the things you thought were here to stay have faded. There is but one who remains. Do you know who he is? I do.
Monday: Starbucks with Alia, 10.30-5.
Tuesday: Home-PR notes, done.
Wednesday: Home-JNB notes, first few chapters. Youtube and anime.
Thursday:
Friday: Starbucks with Alia, probably same time.
I should stay away from the computer...away from dramas and anime. I don't know what to focus on for JNB. Come to think of it, he didn't give us any exam tips? Study whole book? Shit! I hate this...it's December and I'm still studying..? I'm already in the holiday mood.....help..........
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